Curmudgeonly Dining: Maid-Rite

First up: In order to fulfil my self-imposed obligation to sample every cheeseburger in any particular town I live in, I made a long postponed visit to our local Maid-Rite restaurant. The sign in front said "Last chance before we move to our new location". I'm not one to ignore such a sign and I'd never ever had a Maid-Rite burger in my life. So I ordered a Bacon Cheeseburger. The woman at the window asked if I was aware that they were moving.

"Ma'am, that's the only reason I'm here."

I got my tiny bag and pulled out the burger resting snugly within. As is my habit, I started to eat it with one hand while I drove home. Before my inital bite I noticed that the burger didn't have the normal patty shape that I'd grown accustomed to over the last twenty eight years of eating solid food. Was my burger defective? Did they give me a sloppy joe? Had the restaurant run out of meat and resorted to sweeping food parts off the floor before they moved to their new location? I took a bite... quite tasty, but I ended up with ground beef all over the front of my shirt and the floor of my truck.

According to the web page, my burger was completely normal. "TOO GOOD TO BE A PATTY" they mention capitally. "America's #1 Favorite Made to Order Loose Meat Sandwich" they state, a comment clearly vetted by the Maid-Rite legal department (Jurisproodent Wright Law Firm, I must imagine).

To sum up: a fine flavor to the Maid-Rite "burger" but not the ideal food for eating while driving (and I've enjoyed salads while merging onto the interstate). On the other hand, a Conway's Red Top giant burger isn't meant to be eaten on the road either.