A Bad Neighborhood: I Want Some Deer*

So, yesterday morning I woke up early, sent Shannon off to work, went for a quiet walk with Delilah and then settled in to shore up the plants next to the sidewalk.

I was just transplanting some sedums when I looked up and saw four cop cars pull up, right in front of the crack house across the street. I thought maybe it was time to start gathering my gardening tools and head inside, where I could hide behind the curtains and watch the shit go down, as any sensible person would do.

Just as I was picking up the last tool, I saw two cops running down the street from the opposite direction, carrying a fireman's axe. Delilah barked once and then hid in the house. The cops pounded on the door and said, "[Legal Name] I have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door immediately or I will break it down." Then they broke down the door. I was closing my own front door when I heard the cop yell, "Everybody get down! I have a gun and will shoot!"

After about 2 hours, the cops handcuffed Ms. Jaimie (aka Big Mamma, aka [Legal Name]), the guy I think is her current boyfriend, the guy who always brought over the drugs, and the woman who got in a fight with the Roller Derby Girls who live next door about a month ago and brought them all down to the station.

I'll trade one crack house and its denizens for a herd of deer.




Anybody?