But Is It Incest?

A co-worker cornered me at the bagel table and asked if that was my girlfriend she saw me with the other night. She mentioned how similar we looked to one another. Now, I don’t think we look alike at all. I mean, only one of us is 6 feet tall, blonde, blue-eyed, lanky, and muscular. And that’s not me. I’m barely 5’8”, (the only people who think otherwise are men who are shorter than me—which is a whole nother* topic), I have not been remotely blonde since my second birthday, my eyes are green, and muscles imply sweat, a state to which I am vehemently opposed. People also tell me I look like my best friend here. It's the same sort of problem, except that she's 4 inches shorter than me and her (extremely blond) hair is 8 times longer than mine.

And is this at all related to people looking like their dogs? Because I do look more like my dog than either of them.

*I realize this is phrase is grammatically indefensible. Naturally, I have a defense: The intersection between the oral and written word is utterly fascinating. I read a lot of people’s writing over the course of my day. People who speak more than they write (or who were not trained to think differently when they write) use vocabulary, spelling, and grammar in unique and highly illustrative ways. They tend to write words and phrases the way we would use them orally, not the way we would use them literally. Nuances of language and meaning are revealed through oral writing in ways literal writing can’t touch.

An example: I only used your toothbrush once. While something a person might say, it should be written: I used your toothbrush only once. The placement of the word only in the first sentence implies "This really isn't a big deal at all. It's just a toothbrush and we kiss each other anyway." The placement of the word in the second sentence implies "It was an accident! I won't do it again--I promise!" Okay, perhaps not the best example, but a long day of transforming oral writing to literal writing has seriously compromised my critical thinking abilities.