An oldie but a goodie

Selections from The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the US Army:

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from “Full Monty” every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".

129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.

142. “Calvin-Ball” is not authorized PT.

167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.

168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.

169. Not even if they *are* “especially patriotic films”

181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.

202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.