Let's get virtually ready to RUMBLE!!!!

Gamefaqs is doing their usual summer tournament to determine teh coolZ0est video game character and, as usual, it's just some petty popularity contest. OF COURSE, Bowser is more popular than Chun Li: He's in Super Smash Brothers. In fact, if one were to determine the hierarchy of the popularity of the various games, it would be easy to determine the winners.
Final Fantasy 7
Super Smash Brothers Melee
Legend of Zelda
Final Fantasy X
Halo
Every Other Game
And so on.

Now, that's their decision to base these matchups on popularity, but come on. I don't even know who some of these characters are. And I like video games. I can only imagine what someone who didn't follow gaming would think of some of the entrants:
Gordon Freeman
Sarah Kerrigan
Tommy Vercetti
Carl Johnson

So far, so good... right? A respectable group of people who could have been names taken from my fifth grade class picture.

Squall Leonhart
Vincent Valentine
Joanna Dark
Alucard (aka Adrian Farenheits Tepes)

Ok, not a set of names you're likely to see outside of a renaissance fair, but no big deal. Moving on:

Kratos, God of War
Revolver Ocelot
Ganondorf
Big Boss
Knuckles the Echidna
The King of All Cosmos
CATS

What kind of a contest is this?! The God of War may have to fight an Echidna? Pac-man is up against somebody called Revolver Ocelot? The King of All Cosmos lost to Tidus the other day? Tidus isn't even [spoiler]! He's just a [spoiler] of the [spoiler]! This so-called tournament is unfair.

Update: A baby echidna is called a puggle. Also, echidna are monotremes. Again also, monotremes are adorable!

Further update: Revolver Ocelot is on a team with Vulcan Raven, Psycho Mantis, Sniper Wolf, Decoy Octopus, and Liquid Snake.