Shattered Dreams

Before today, I wanted to be a hippopotamus in my next life.The hippopotamus is the second largest land mammal, can run faster than a person (even a really fast person), sweats antibiotics and sunscreen, and hangs out in a river all day. And I like the phrase "a pod of hippopotami." But for me, the icing on the non-cadbury cream egg cake is this: I watched a nature program in which a baby hippo stumbled into the midst of a bunch of starving crocodiles in the middle of a feeding frenzy. The crocs stopped tearing their dinner and each other to bits immediately. They all moved back a few feet. The baby wandered all over their bleeding, still kicking food until it got bored, and then went back to mama. After the baby was a safe distance away, the feeding frenzy continued. So I thought, “Hey, I’m gonna come back as a hippo in the next life. Then nobody will mess with me!” and I was happy, because nobody fucks with a hippo…until I saw this picture .

I don’t want to be a hippo anymore.